Then Came Doubt

Last week on Instagram, I announced that I have signed up, and have began training for The Herron Half Marathon, that is on June 4th!

herron-half-marathon-map

I was so excited to share this with y’all, and once I did, the outpouring of encouragement was so empowering!

Here is my training schedule for the next 15, now 14.5 weeks:

half-marathon-training-schedule

I want to be totally open with you, since I announced my biggest goal to date, even with all the amazing and empowering encouragement from family and friends, I have been overwhelmed with HUGE amounts of doubt! Let me share with you some of thoughts I have had:

“You weight 258 pounds, you can’t run that far!”

“You have a family to take care of, it’s really selfish of you to make them pick up your slack!”

“Your goals should wait until your kids are grown!”

“Have you seen how big you are? You’re not an athlete!”

“Remember your last race? You crashed your bike and busted your shoulder… you’ll probably break your leg in this race!”

“Right now is ‘easy’ wait till the training miles increase, then you’re gonna see, you can’t do this!”

Aren’t those terrible? It’s really hard to share these with you and I am not going to lie to you, I often times believe and live in those doubts! I allow those voices to dictate my day,  as well as allow me to self sabotage how I eat and how I train!

I can also tell you more times than not, my alarm goes off and for a split second I choose to stay in bed…. and then I get up. Most days are a struggle to get up and get out.

Very rarely do I struggle through my workouts. Once I get moving, and get to the gym or go for a run, I feel really good and I am glad I pushed through!  It’s just making sure I get there, and not letting those voices of self-doubt infiltrate my thought processes!

I am not an expert at what to do with thoughts of self-doubt, it’s easy for me to tell y’all what to do with those thoughts, hard to believe it for myself.  I do believe that “what I put in comes out”!  So, if I am filling my heart and my mind with negative self talk, time and time again, I will and do, believe it!

I came across Heidi Powell‘s website, and she has great tips on self-affirmations!

My favorite is “Be Kind to Yourself“!

Here is an excerpt:

“While we seem to do so well loving others for who they are, far too often we (especially us women) fall victim to offending the most important person in the world…ourselves!! Negative self-talk runs rampant in most of our heads and truly does define who we are. The truth is that we are what we SAY we are!! Plain and simple: If we say we are disgusting, unlovable, fat, ugly (ugh..I don’t like using these words…even in a blog), then guess what? We will most likely live into that identity. We will act as someone who is unlovable, unattractive, unhealthy, etc….and before we know it, we will be those things…On the very bright side, it is just as easy to be the opposite: Beautiful, lovable, healthy, kind, and compassionate. How? By reminding ourselves every day that we are worthy of being this person! We are all these perfectly imperfect creations of God, sent here to earth to make the most of our time and fulfill our very unique and divine purposes. We must know and believe that we are everything good (because He is our creator) and know that we have been equipped with all we need to fulfill these purposes. While this can be so difficult at times because it’s naturally easy to notice our flaws and imperfections… it’s vitally important to our well-being and health. ”

WOW! She hits the nail on the head, right?!

Just as I need to train my body, I need to train my mind! Years and years of me putting myself down, believing what society tells me, a woman (and athlete) should look like, believing I am all alone, eating my feelings… isn’t going to change how I think about myself overnight!

I need Jesus! The power to hold my thoughts captive, doesn’t come from “my own greatness” cause I am far from great, the power comes from the greatness of God!

Join me! As I not only take this journey to a healthy body, but a healthy mind!

Go to Heidi’s posts: My Top 5 Ways to Fall in Love with Your Body and Be Kind to Yourself! Here she gives good advice on learning how to love on ourselves! And above all, dive into God’s word, the Bible! No other book, blog, or class, or therapy (though all these things are good) can give your soul the healing it needs, as the Bible can!

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